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This is my high-level guide to setting up a solid profile. I was a professional dating coach for a larger business for 7+ years in NYC. I specialized in dating
I was a dating coach for 7+ years.

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This is my high-level guide to setting up a solid profile. I was a professional dating coach for a larger business for 7+ years in NYC. I specialized in dating apps and first dates. Below is my basic outline for setting up a solid profile. Happy to verify if needed. Using my personal account because I’m not trying to promote the business (I moved and am not sure if new clients are even being accepted right now). I’m sure I missed stuff, so feel free to ask questions and I’ll do my best to answer. Note: I’m not going to do full profile reviews. Pictures to include: The following are listed by order of importance to include. 1-3 are essential, 4 and 5 are more optional. Clear Face shot: at least one clear relatively close-up shot of your face where I can see both your eyes and teeth (or else I’ll assume you’re hiding something). Make sure you’re alone in this picture. Your date should know what you look like, you don’t want them to be surprised when you meet them live. I usually put these first in a profile. Relative body shot: A picture showing your full body in the context of your surroundings. This means photos while out and about, with friends, doing activities, etc. The goal, again, is to remove the opportunity for surprises. Hobby pictures: This one tends to be more difficult for people to get because they feel awkward about asking others to take photos of them, but just rip the bandaid off. These should show you doing activities you actually enjoy (playing music, cooking, hiking, etc.) so your date can see your personality a bit. Group photos: Make sure you’re easy to identify in a group photo, and avoid taking photos where (a) your dating competition (same sex, similar age, etc.) is side by side with you or (b) the person next to you could look like your ex. Wildcard: These photos don’t need to show what you look like, but can be photos that express your personality, or show off things you like and want to share, like a pet or something you made and are proud of. Pictures to AVOID: Selfies: UNLESS it is for an in-the-moment shot with friends or animals where a selfie is necessary to capture it. I’ve seen enough selfies in the suit store, at the gym, and in the car for a lifetime. They’re offputting. Looking miserable: Having no shots where you smile (or selfies where you don’t smile, I really dislike these) Out-of-date photos: Try to keep it within two years, and you should have consistent hair in all of them. I see a lot of boys (as a straight woman swiping) who clearly have 5+ years between photos. We all age, don’t make your date guess which hairstyle/face/body is accurate to who they will meet. Have your friends look through your profile if you’re not sure if it’s accurate to what you currently look like. Photos potentially including your ex : This means anyone who looks like they could have dated you. Photos alongside other individuals in your dating cohort: Personally, if I see your friend is more my type, I’ll swipe left to avoid the drama. Exclusively professional photos: it feels disingenuous, having some casual photos will feel more personal, IMO. Bio/prompts to include: Only point one is absolutely necessary. Things you enjoy/how you spend your free time: Listing out the small things you enjoy will be helpful bait for someone who wants to start a conversation, but be specific. For example, don’t just write comedy fan,” but instead write if you like attending stand-up or improv shows, watching comedy specials, performing comedy, who your favorite comic is, etc. It’s way easier to connect with. Similarly, I’m a foodie, but I’m specifically on the hunt for the best buffalo wings in my area – you can see how that’s easier to create a conversation/date from than just writing “foodie.” Long/short-term goals: Are you planning a trip in the near future you could use recommendations for, working towards a degree/career goal? Include it – this helps show your date what’s worth planning ahead for. Bio/prompts to avoid: What you’re looking for in a partner: The profile should be focused on you, and you can read other’s profiles to filter for what you want. Not only will people self-exclude themselves if they don’t think they fit your requirements, it comes off poorly. With that said, it’s OK to say what type of relationship you’re looking for from the app (FWB, life partner, etc.). Be extremely careful with humor – think about this from every angle – if there’s a chance someone could be offended, leave it off. People can’t always read tone, especially before they meet you. Redundant information: Don’t repeat info that’s already on the profile elsewhere, such as name, height, and age. Lying: DON’T LIE about your age/height/etc! You don’t want to start a relationship by having to fess up! Messaging tips: Starting a message: I always like to ask a question, tying yourself into it as much as possible. If I see a photo of someone cooking, I may ask if they ever hit up a local farmer’s market (one of my favorite pastimes) for ingredients/inspiration, or what their go-to dish is to cook for others. If I see a photo holding a cocktail, I’ll ask if they have a drink of choice or what type of bar environment they like the most (dive, dark and romantic, loud and lively). If I see a picture of someone at the beach, I’ll typically ask them if they like to lay around in the sun or prefer beach activities or if they prefer the beach over the pool. You get the point. Avoid a generic “what’s up” or “hey,” it’s lazy and you won’t stand out as a real date prospect. Try to only ask questions you genuinely want to know the answers to when getting to know them better. When to ask them out: Once you’ve both conversed enough to feel confident that you won’t waste time/money meeting, you may as well meet in person or jump on a quick call to test conversation chemistry. How to ask for a phone/video call: Since some people are shy about getting on a call, it’s always best to ask something along the lines of “Would you prefer to jump on a quick phone/video chat to plan this date/see if there is a connection?” That way, the power is in their hands to say yes or comfortably decline. Getting their number: Again, the goal is to make your potential date comfortable, you can offer up your number if they would like to switch to phone/text, but be conscientious that not everyone will want to get off the apps before meeting. I hate when someone demands my number or that we get off the apps, personally. Remember, the goal is to express who you are as a person, what you like, and what you look like. These tips are all about creating a profile that shows who you are outside of just your looks. It’s so easy for everyone to blend together on dating apps, having a well-rounded profile will make you feel like more of a person and less like a generic swipe. I hope this is helpful! Пост в архиве.

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